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Few couples adequately discussed how they would live during the next stage of their lives, she said. In Montclair, N.
98 Best Midlife Romance images in | Wedding happy, Relationships are hard, Divorce
Leinberger, now 64, retired from his job as a computer systems manager in Radin, now 59, retired from a job in customer service in I found out I was invading his space. He had already carved out his life during the daytime.
Radin also said she felt insecure without her income. Unlike her husband, she had not been eligible for a sizable retirement package.
She returned to work in , in part because she found her presence unwanted at home. Leinberger said. She envisioned that we'd be going here and there together, but I'm sort of a loner. Though his job had paid better than hers, he said he did not feel threatened now that she was earning more money. It's like if she beats me at tennis. I don't like it, but it just means a better game for me. Women often work because their husbands have been pressed into early retirement. Martie Williams, 60, had not planned to retire in , when the gas company in western New Jersey where he worked offered him a buyout package.
Since then he has briefly tried selling cars, but has not worked regularly. Life needs that, but we don't have it. We need some sort of routine. I'm angry.
I don't make dinner anymore. I say, 'You're home all day, I'll be damned if I'll do it. Williams said he did not miss his old job, and felt his retirement package provided enough money for now. But, he said, ''Our home life has gone to hell in a handbasket. I don't know if it's my fault, her fault or nobody's fault. She resents my being home so much.
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I just close up and say, 'When I get a job, it will resolve itself. Williams said. All I can do is keep going out and trying. Even when money is not the major concern, many women who came of age with the feminist movement have invested their identities in their careers, said Laurie Young, executive director of the Older Women's League, a research and advocacy organization. When Lois Ambash met Lawrence Schneider in through a personal advertisement in a Long Island circular, they had very different plans.
Ambash, In their small Greenwich Village apartment, Ms. Ambash runs a consulting business out of the living room.
Schneider, 65, who retired from his job as a teacher in , does the shopping and cooking and attends concerts in the afternoons. They make appointments to go to the movies together. Most of their income still comes from his pension and Social Security. Ambash, who works long hours, said she would not feel complete without her career.
She occasionally thinks about retiring, she said. Schneider said that he was happy to see his wife work, but that he himself did not miss working. And when I go to Lincoln Center in the afternoon, in that crowd I feel young. Log In. Will you remain in place, downsize, re-locate?
How strong are the ties and commitments to your present location? Will you be leaving behind family and close friends? Are you adept at meeting and establishing new friends? If you have young grand children, keep in mind their proximity — if you want to stay connected. If you envision relocating, thoroughly research the new area before committing to the move; spend time in the area during several seasons of the year so you know what to expect.
Consider renting first to ensure the new locale meets your expectations. If one of you continues working, that partner can reasonably expect the retired mate to assume a more involved domestic role. For most couples, that is likely to strain the relationship. Plan for some fulfilling time alone to better enjoy your time together.
Do you have a Bucket List? Talk about your desires, needs.
How to Survive RVing Full-time as a Couple
Is the spark still there? Might it need cultivation or re-starting? Note to Men: This role may fall more heavily upon you. Consider exploring sensual massage, Tantric Sex.
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You may begin losing contact with work colleagues, hence, you should be thinking of and alert to developing other same-gender relationships. You NEED a place or venue in which to express your feelings, concerns, and dreams: they may never be shared with anyone, but you will benefit from identifying and acknowledging them. Topic: Health: Options and Restrictions According to the National Institutes of Health NIH , your health to age 50 is largely a function of heredity; after age 50 it is largely a function of lifestyle.
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In retirement, good health is at least as important as adequate financial resources; one without the other will seriously inhibit your quality of life. Most major diseases have some causation in poor habits of diet, substance abuse, stress, inactivity or a combination.
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It is never too late to make smarter choices about your health.